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3:30 Feeling down + dirty, I went home, leaving when Gene did and calling him Greg accidently. Made me feel bad. I took a shower + a Unisom. Gargled, and wrote some notes

4:00 To bed, steaming.

Sun Sep 27 '87

Sunny all day. Too choppy to ski

9:00 Get up. Sunny cool morning. I don't feel too tired, but I'm a little hazy. WHAT CAN I DO TO AVOID GOING TO TUBS. BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT, PART WAS LOTS OF FUN, TRUE, BUT WHAT DO I HAVE NOW? WAS IT WORTH RISK OF CATCHING A COLD THAT COULD LAST 2-3 WEEKS!

This makes me very scared about trying to be gay in SF

1) Deciding who to date and have sex with, being cautious not to snub anyone.

2) Knowing that I could have lonely night like last night where I compromise + go to Tubs. Just like I almost did in SF before I met Mark Thompson.

Write up some notes for the car, and make card a little hard to get to so that I will pause and look at cards before getting crazy.

EMPHASIZE THAT TUBS UNDERMINE MY CURRENT SOCIAL EFFORTS, OF DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS, OF HUMAN INTERACTION.