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[pink]FEELING BAD ABOUT HOW I DRESSED,[/pink] 501s +
SWEATER VS SILK PANTS + NICE SHIRT.
[pink]To 5th Ave for SIFF opening + "Rainbow."[/pink]
Again feeling like a hillbilly, versus suits,
and Gowns, Cath + Chuck et al look great.
Over to Spanish Ballroom at Olympic. Nice.
After champagne I don't feel so out of place.
Also, movie was a bit of a stinker, so I
dressed ok for that. The opening should
be an event though. [pink]MAYBE NEXT YEAR[/pink]

11:45 [pink]Bob drives me home.[/pink]

12:00 [pink]To Tubs to wear off alcohol, [/pink]hot tub, etc

1:15 To bed

FRI MAY 12 '89

7:00 -----
[yellow]Read + shread diary pages from Win '81[/yellow]

-----

10:30 Market Logic. VL for May Divd Growth. Excel. Print.

12:15 [yellow]Finish Diary #2[/yellow]
[orange]Note how excited I was to learn about
people and motivating them, but I lacked
self-confidence + charisma, I realized.
And I found later that I didn't succeed in 82.
Has anything changed this time 7 years later?
Now that I have financial success?[/orange] [pink]But I still
need stable home life to grow socially.
And I haven't find anyone who has acceptable minimums.[/pink]
[blue]That diary is all shredded + gone, except for
Desc of Trader specifications
Last page + very last page on cover
Which I keep with trading modem.

----

Take cover to storage + bring home Summer '81 book.[/blue]

2:30 [pink]Due to,[/pink]
Last night's embarrasment
Future trip to LA

[pink]I should go get clothes. Do this on days off gym.
Shop at Marios. Got silk jacket, gabardine slacks.[/pink]

4:30 Yogurt. Go home.

5:15 [yellow]Start in on Summer '81[/yellow] [pink]+ recognize all
the social activities, and decide to copy
them out to my calendar-style pages.

[group]Really sense the problems I have[/pink]
with lack of social/verbal skills [comment]little interest in people, fun, humor.[/comment]
with visual/physical distration.

[pink]I was quite stressed socially in S. Cal.
Would I be again if I lived there NOW?
I thought I just didn't do a good job of
planning, but also I didn't have the strengths
to weather or overcome awkward social situations.[/pink][/group]
[comment]Esp Laguna Bch wknd with Tim + Aaron.[/comment]