The String of Pearls (1850), p. 211

"Ha! ha! A good joke."
Major Bounce—we may as well still call the poor wretch Major Bounce—placed his hat upon a chair, and his sword upon the top of it.
"Pray, sir, be seated," said Todd.
"Ah! Damme, is this seat a fixture?"
"Yes, sir, it' s in the proper light, you see, sir."
"Oh, very well—I—pluff, pluff—puff, puff! Confound you, what have you filled my mouth with soap-suds for?"
"Quite an accident, sir. Quite an accident, for which I humbly beg your
pardon, I assure you, sir. If you keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open, you will get on amazingly. Have you seen the paper to-day, sir?"
"No!''
"Sorry for that, sir. A very odd case, sir—a little on one side—a most remarkable case, I may say. A gentleman, sir, went into a barber's shop, and—"
"Eh!—puff! sleush! puff! Am I to be poisoned by your soap-suds? Upon my valour, I shall have to make an example of you to all barbers."
"You opened your mouth at the wrong time, sir."
"The wrong devil. Don't keep me here all night."
"Certainly not, sir. But as I was saying about this curious case in the
paper. A military gentleman went into a barber's shop to be shaved."
"Well. The devil—pluff, pluff! Good God! Am I to endure all this?"
"Certainly not, sir. I'll show you the paper itself. You must know, sir,
that the paragraph is headed 'Mysterious disappearance of a gentleman.'"
"Damn it, what do I care about it? Get on with the shaving."
"Certainly, sir."
Todd gave a horrible scrape to Major Bounce's face with a blunt razor.
"Quite easy, sir?"
"Easy? Good gracious, do you want to skin me?"
"Oh, dear no, sir. What an idea. To skin a military gentleman. Certainly not, sir. I see you require one of my best keen razors—one of the Magnum Bonums. Ha! ha!"
"Eh? What was that?"
"Only me giving a slight smile, sir."
"The deuce it was. Don't do it again, then, that's all; and get your keen
razor at once, and make an end of the business."
"I will—make an end of the business. Sit still, sir. I'll be back in a
moment."
Todd went into the parlour.
"£50,000 !" muttered Major Bounce. "I am a happy fellow. At last,
after so many ups and downs, I light upon my feet. A charming widow!—and she wishes to leave England. How lucky. I wish the very same thing. £50,000!—50,000 charms!"
* * * * *
"Good God! what's that?" said a man, who was passing Todd's window, in
Fleet-street. "What a horrid shriek. Did you hear it, mum?"
"Oh dear, yes," said a woman. "I'm all of a tremble."
"It came from the barber's shop, here. Let's go in, and ask if anything is the matter?"
The man and woman crossed Todd's threshold, and opened the shop door. A
glance showed them that a man's face was at a small opening of the parlour
door. The shaving chair was empty.
"What's the matter?" said the man.
"With whom?" said Todd.
"Well, I don't know, but I thought somebody cried out."
Todd crept along the floor until he came close to the man, and then he
said—
"My friend, have you anything to do?"