2110-4-3-12

Telegrams Camptown

Edgerston, Jedbvrgh, Scotland

Dear John,

Just a line to tell you that the accouchement of Margot is now complete; and there are three little Anthonies & three little Bibescos: & that the valleys resound with the triumphant "honk - honks" of Henry.

As among geese there are no forbidden degrees, we may expect to have a herd of 32 by this time next year. Assuming that the same rate of progress is maintained,

there shd be 2,097,152 in 10 years time. Then we will begin to cash up. There may be some slight error in my arithmetic but anyway we are safe for two millions: two millions of 8/6ds. - wh is the price in Jedburgh for a fat Michaelmas goose - will provide a gross return of £850,000. All of this I shall owe, & shall gratefully continue to owe, to you, but you must at least accept a pearl tie pin as a token of my gratitude.

I expect I am in Susie's bad books; but my conduct is not really so black as it appears; for I have been considering lately whether the time has not come to put off corruption & to put on incorruption. It is odd how distasteful the idea of incorruption becomes when one regards it as a practical alternative.

In other words, I have been enjoying bad health since the 17th of March - the day of that odious Saint who turned the snakes of Ireland into Irishmen. When I thought I had made good against my third trial - a particularly poisonous bout of flu - there came a fortnight of Nor East winds in London wh. filled up the cup a fourth time. Now I am happy, tucked up in my own comfy little bed, looking out on my own green hills, & listening to Henry as he 'honks' majestically over the love songs of the whaups, & the pee-wees, the cushies & the cock pheasants. But I suppose all this comes under

the heading of corruption; even so, I am content with it.

My little doctor is very strict but very cheerful, & we are both pretty confident that I will be back in town before Ascot, & able to wear the nice new old-world clothes, which I ordered from Messrs Poole, as the right thing for one of buckish tendencies, who is at the same time a dweller in that region of Gay Severity wh. men call Belgravia.

Get Susie to forgive me for my neglect (so far) of her brother-in-law's eggs.

Anthony Trollope is a great writer.

Curtis, Philip Kerr & most of their really high souled companions (not Bob Brand & Dougie of course: who wd call him 'high souled'?) are really, in human form, the same things as military gentlemen use to make

[in margin:] smoke screens with. Curtis I'm sure blew a smoke screen in the face of the howdie who ushered him into the world, & he has been blowing them ever since in every quarter of the globe. Yours F.S.O.

P.S. You have a friend called Baring whom - from what I have heard of him - I regret I don't know.

He writes books wh. I am ashamed to say I have never read.

Would you mind sending on a p.c. to our mutual friend Wilson of Bumpus's the names of two suitable for my order of intelligence (if B. has ever struck so low a note), & tell him to send here & charge to my a/c? In that way a fraction of the retailer's profit will return to my own coffers. Who said the Scots were not a careful race? F.S.O.

8. 5. 23

EDGERSTON, JEDBURGH. SCOTLAND

[Note by Katherine Oliver: Our chinese geese, presented to us by John & Susie & named after the Asquith family]

Dear John,

Just a line to tell you that the accouchement of Margot is now complete; that there are three little Anthonies & three little Bibescos; and that the valleys resound with the triumphant "honk - honk's" of Henry.

As among Geese there are no forbidden degrees, we may expect to have a herd of 32 by this time next year. Assuming that the same rate of progress is maintained, there should be 2,097,152 in 10 years time. Then we will begin to cash up. There may be some slight error in my arithmetic, but anyway we are safe for two millions: and two millions of 8/6ds. which is the price in Jedburgh for a fat Michaelmas goose - will produce a gross return of £850,000. All of this I shall owe and shall gratefully continue to owe, to you: but you must at least accept a pearl tie pin as a token of my gratitude.

I expect I am in Susie's bad books; but my conduct is not really so black as it appears; for I have been considering