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away. Things don't really get easier as time goes on.
Grief sinks deeper but it has a sharper edge &
the growing silence makes the sense of loneliness more
keen. I never realised till I lost Jim that his
vitality & joyousness had become the background of
my whole existence though we led different lives
so far as our external interests were concerned.

But with him the zest & joy in life have
gone. Duty remains & the wonderful kindness
of friends & so I try & carry on & keep the
lamp of patience alight. I know you dont like
Wales but there are some words of his to which
I cling—"the best one can do is to train oneself to
keep one's courage in the forefront of one's mind,
to cling to courage, to wear the habitual practice
of courage like a private amulet."

Believe me I know how many & abounding
are my mercies & I don't fail to count them.
Countless women are tenfold worse off than I
am.