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2021.0006.0003d2
COPY.
[no date, no place]

Dear Cousin
I was prevented this morning by the rain from going to meeting
and therefore will devote part of the time in writing to
thee, it would seem unneccessary as I will not likely be at Rockland
some time today, but it has been my misfortune always to
find thee very much engaged so that this is the only means left
with comuting thee, there is no one thing between us that
I am very sorry for and that is the constant deubting of each
others attachment and it should it be so, there ought to be no
cause of jealousy between us. I have told thee many times that
I loved thee better than any of my cousins and I am sure this is
all thee can ask, and I have also and for a long time recommanded
to thee another of my cousins who thee has now excepted, and this
being the case why should there by any jealosyon my part, now
I know what reason thee will assign for our not being more confidential
and intimate, thee will say that I am such a strange
compound that no one can understand me, and as thee and another
very nice young lady have told me, I am so cold, indifferent, &
proud, this being the character I bear just allowances should be
made for my behabior, I do not wish to hurt thy feelings dear
but I have had enough to bear this spring without thy chiding
me for a want of affection. I have asked no ones sympathy
but thine for I have told no one but thee my situation, though
no doubt many have guessed it, it is impossible to banish it from
my mind, that with mournful state of our beloved country
keep me in a constant state of depression. It has been one of my
most cherished fancies to have a home and that brightened
with the prescence of one I could love and respect above all
others, the home I have if that beautiful word can be applied to
a house alone, around which cluster no feelings of love or joy
upon returning to its secluded precincts after the labor of the
day is o'er. I sympathize with you in your present dull prospects
for the future but pray and trust that things may brighten
up ere long.

Thy devoted cousin
/s/ R. B. Farquhar

[written on 4th page, as an address, but not mailed]
Mary H. Hallowell
Rockland