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Tues Nov 3 '87

7:00 Msc.

9:30 Got money for Gold at bank.

9:45 Appt for haircut at Chaika's.

Feeling somewhat groggy but not inclined to "cure" it with coffee, since I want to stay "pure."

But then after changing into smock, I see Mary Gates in Rick's chair, so I get nervous: what to say.

So I have coffee and feel all right.

After getting hair wet, I moved toward her at counter and she seems quite friendly, but I mention Lakeside, and she says that was a nice building + day, and she says "You were a part of it" and then started to turn away. I said something nervously about wishing we'd had that, but being lucky anyway. It seemed to end abruptly as she said "Nice to see you." After I was seated she came over to ask Rick Ch how to set up appt for perm + color. She was friendly in demeanor, but said nothing more to me. I saw myself in mirror smiling pleasantly.

Why do I care? How should I act. I know myself, and I try to be myself, but she just seems so successful + bright and self confident, yet friendly that I get very nervous around her or Bill. Yet I rarely see them, but I suppose that is part of the problem.

I SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE A SHY, HUMBLE APPROACH WHEN DEALING WITH SOMEONE I RESPECT, BUT I SHOULD NOT BE SERVILE. I SHOULD HAVE DIGNITY, BUT LET THEM HAVE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. AND MAYBE COMPLEMENT THEM ON SOMETHING. YET TO BE UP FOR THIS, HAVE COFFEE EARLY.