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[pink]Mark looking great in Orange + White Dolphins
Hairy chest, good pecs, great legs.[/pink]
As he shows prospect around, I poke around.
[pink]Do bench tricep exercise, old friend.[/pink]
Look at Circuit Training, mostly bicycle stops.
[pink]Maybe do incline flies for my workout.[/pink]
After ordering flowers, go to lunch.
[pink]Wonderful Pasta Primavera, on patio.
Good talk. Tells me about Wes,[/pink]
whom he met last May, at conv'n Denver.
Moving here, without job, to be with Mark.
I felt very happy for him, encouraged him.

After lunch, he drove me around.
Saw Wendy's as we left. Loves it too.
[pink]Lake Merritt. His Duplex. Big houses. Blacks. Gold's Gym[/pink]

3:15 Offers me [pink]grass - do a little.[/pink]
Feeling very [pink]comfortable with each other[/pink]
Takes me to [pink]top of cemetary.
Fabulous view. So clear. Flight simulator.
Fog rolling in over SF, but top of GG showing.[/pink]
The Bay is so big. Get out to look.
As we turn round to return to cur, I hug.

----- [pink]Broken Heart.
I really start to think[/pink] if I should've
seen more of Mark
1) Not to be serious about him.
2) Not to end up in Oakland with him
But just [pink]to get as much out of relationship
as possible,[/pink] and to appreciate his
energy for me.
1) We [pink]could've[/pink] gone out in SF in Feb,
when I met Eric Stahl + missed Chips
dinner because I was too tired.
2) [pink]Possibly[/pink] could've gone to Hawaii. Possibly would've skipped boat.
3) [pink]Possibly could've avoid Beck's front
side room in Feb
4) [pink]Possibly[/pink] would've seen Oakland in Feb

4:00 My mind was tumbling as we drove down
and Mark had class to teach at 4:15
[pink]Told Mark about my winter romance problem, to account for some of my action.[/pink]

4:15 I left and stopped at Safeway, for A&W.
Sat in car + thought a lot more.
[pink]Maybe I felt hurt by Bill Farrell
because I held back rather than
trying to guide the relationship.
In other words, my mistake was not
that I held back too little, but too much.[/pink]
Had I tried to do the relationship
as much as I could, I would have
felt relieved when he started seeing
Stuart, instead of hurt that I
didn't spend enough time with him.
After all, I did get a lot out of Bill,
and perhaps even more was possible.