18. Nellie's Letters, February 1866

The Mansion, Sunday. p.m. Norway Jan -- no Feb. 4th 1866

My dear old boy --

I wish I was near enough to thank you properly for the beautiful "sign" of our engagement, which came to me last night. -- Words are so cold and formal to express the deepest feelings of one's life, but they will have to answer our purpose until the "good time coming" & make it convenient to communicate our thoughts more freely and quickly. I am very much pleased with the ring, it is plenty good enough -- indeed I should have been sorry had it been richer -- considering the present state of our finances. The tears

[sideways left margin:] Emma and Hattie want to send their love and say "tell him we want to see him."

would come when I obeyed your injunction and pressed it to my lips many times, thinking of my darling child so very far away, working hard for my sake and loving me so well, and I desire it so little from him, of all others.

I do want so very very much to see you, that sometimes it seems to me I can't possibly wait for the long months to pass, even till this spring comes, and yet -- I know it may be best to wait a year, and if it is -- why, I can do it. -- as I can endure any thing that is inevitable without shrinking. Perhaps I oughtn't to tell you of these childish longings, but I want you to know how very dear you have become to me, and how much my thoughts are with you. Last night I told your mother of your proposition for me to join you, she did not say what her mind would be, but did say, that she thought you oughtn't

to leave your business this Spring, although she could hardly wonder at your wishing to do so.

She hopes you will be judicious in regard to the matter, -- and so do I.

I mean to ask her further concerning my taking the trip with Wash, instead of Harry, as I had hoped.

Please thank Mrs Johnson in my name for her kind wishes. I hope she will like me, but I sadly fear she will be disappointed and wonder at your choice. However it won't matter, if I only make you happy, and I shall do all in my power to bring about that result.

I laughed heartily at the present you received from the "carrier" Henry, It was certainly a proof of his generosity -- I make no comment on his judgment of the "fitness of things."

The boy would doubtless have felt it keenly had you refused them. I thought

the "address" good for any thing of the sort, but rather think you did not bestow so much thought upon it as upon the 4th of July poem.

Thank you for the explanation of the "hits". I like to understand any thing of that kind.

Am very glad you passed the new year day so pleasantly, Society in Carson must be pleasant and lively, and I am delighted that you can find some recreation. Do you room at Mrs Johnsons? I think not but you have never said any thing about it. By the way --

Byron wanted me to ask you, "What is the actual cost of living there as compared with Maine -- Let him tell you the price of board and all about it." He wants to know, as it may make some difference in deciding about the children. I told them this morning, when they were wondering about the ring, that we were engaged.

Hattie says, "Then I shall have another brother -- thats good"; and Emma "I am real glad for I like him -- isn't he very kind"? -- I shall not tell you what reply I made to the question. 'Twon't do to flatter you too much in one letter.

Then they asked all sorts of questions about my going to Nevada to live and about thier going with me, Hattie declared she would go at any rate. I told them it was all undecided now and they must not fuss about it or I should be sorry I had told them. It is amusing, and yet a little saddening to watch their efforts today to please me in every little thing, and Hattie stays by me as if afraid she will lose me without knowing it. You know she is the youngest, and I think more closely attached to me than Emma who says she "shall do just as Byron