1865-09-14_Letter-A_Alvord_to_MyDearWife

[letterhead] American Tract Society, (Instituted at Boston, in 1814,) NEW-YORK DEPOSITORY, NO. 13 BIBLE HOUSE, ASTOR PLACE, NEW-YORK. WILLIAM A. BOOTH, Esq., of New-York, President. Rev. JOHN W. ALVORD, Secretary. JOHN G. BROUGHTON, Depositary. Communications relating to the operations of the Society, and donations, may be sent to REV. JOHN W. ALVORD. All orders and remittances for the publications of the Society may be obtained by addressing JOHN G. BROUGHTON. New York

Wash D. C. Sept 14, 1865 My Dear Wife

Yours, speaking of many things is here. Am sorry for the sake of Julias feelings that she did not pass the examination. But there is some good reason, hereafter to be developed. She need not feel bad, or only so bad as we all should under the dis-appointments so common to this life, which are all intended for our profit. She needs perhaps more such. Her past has not been thickly strewed with them. If any thing is to be regretted it may be that time (a week or so) was not taken for review—at least to have known what studies were to be the subject of examination. College students even never think of approaching the ordeal without being thus informed & prepared. Their whole preparatory course being with reference to the precise books to be used at the ex.

A second trial, thus prepared, may not be best, but it may be very properly due the candidate. You can think of it. I shall be at home. D. V. before the time when she must enter Dr. M.[C.]][illegible] & will endeavour to help in this thing, whatever the indicated course shall be.

In reference to my being here or there or yonder (with Tr. Soc Bureau, or Bank) I have many things to say.

So go back a little—You know that in the ministry my health failed under overmuch brain pressure. I saw it & you did, and a desperate rush was made—first to travel—then the Custom House, then Tract Soc, all relieving me in a measure. The latter as much as any thing until the struggle of controversy began to be very severely felt in the same direction. The war came & I saw two things 1^st that I could at once widen & popularize the work of the American Tract Soc of Boston, and 2^d. that it would give me the outdoor physical exercise for which I was suffering—I will not deny that my Country & the spiritual interests of Soldiers had their wright with me. The result was, that not-withstanding exposure, disease—malaria & I may almost say a thousand forms of death on every side I came back better than I went & at the present moment I have a general soundness of constitution beyond what for the last 25 years I had reason to expect. Had I struggled to remain in the ministry I should, in all prob-ability, long ere this ^have^ been in my grave, as a hope-less & helpless invalid. But you say "The Tract Soc keeps you in the ministry" I shall ^probably stay in^ the ministry, so far as I have ability & strength to fill it. Although nothing so taxes me as even my occasional

preaching. This I believe you [illegible]. Then, my relations to the Tract Soc. by certain influences beyond—or, which I did not wish to, control, have been during the last year or two very essentially changed. I was the sen-ior Secretary—now, I am "Secretary" in name, but in fact only the agent in New York, I have not one particle of control—am not consulted on any important measure at Head Quarters, my work is to beg from door to door & church to church for money to be used in Boston, & in a field to which ^we^ have hitherto (bating the time of controversy) had ^scarcely^ any access, & in which for certain reasons we are very unpopular—No one now calls upon me in N. York—No one on that field complains that I am not at the office. Any one after them for "Boston Tr. Soc." as things now are, is but a bove, my absence is not the cause, It is the cause of my continued absence. If any one wanted me I should be there. Mr Frissell can dig in occasionally just as well & a little better than I can.

And then, under such circumstances, if I attempt to act widely upon my field as the supposed secretary for "all South of N England & east of the Alleghany" which it is,—doing for Freedmen, for what remains of soldiers (100,000) col^d concurrently, establishing agencies in the southern states, I am headed off by at all points by correspondence, & orders which go over my head directly from Boston—while I am severely rep-rimanded for not staying in New York, & playing that

second fiddle in that a ^local^ odious & almost im -possible Tract agency. Don't say I am severe & unreasonable. I told the Ex. [illegible] two years ago that I would never go to N.York unless they would make it the greathead quarters for the business of the Society, which at least the New Yorkers think becomes their great & central city. I object to doing now what the committee excused me from doing — namely managing ^in [New York, N.Y.|N.York]]^ a more common agency (like Mr. Savages at Chicago for instance) but which I there is a labored attempt now being made to dragoon me into. You see I am not so frightened about derelictions in duty &c &c as you appear to be, I am quite concious of obeying instructions at least. As to being "off so much for other Societies, banks &c this Summer", the fact is this is the very thing I was instruced to do at our ann nual gathering at Mr. Booths last May — "Go South." "Establish agencies," "connect with the Bureau" "Experiment as to the bank" "Act somewhat in the field for theMissionary Associations" & "Seee how we can link these great agencies in one covering our kindred work". Mr Booth has been my advisor at ^subsequent^ steps. This whole thing with much toil I have done at NYork or here, & a few weeks ago reported, in person, at Boston on the matter & suggested a plan of continued effort.

What more could I have done in fidelity to my trust only perhaps avoid these scorching heats, loneliness, & absence from home comforts. I might have worked harder