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But why should I expect to change now. I've been a loner for so long. I've never attracted others. I'm not funny or endearing or awesome in personality. I have little practice motivating others. I have to break out of that mold.

I certainly can't do it here. I am not impressed living in Seattle most of the time. Sure this month is great, but September starts to get chilly. And Nov-Mar. Yuk. I can't manage the project here. I'd have a couple good months, but then I'd get depressed since most people don't motivate me thru Winter.

The thing (Pers Acct) is useful though, and it can make money. So only way I'll continue with this is to make gobs of money? Do I want that? What for? What I want is to have close friends to love. I don't have them here. That's what I need first of all.