Diary

had thought of autobook and a handy general purpose list processor. But I realized that a great part of the reason I am interested in a venture is to make money, and perhaps that was too much of the reason. So I decided to look into other ways of purely making money. [inserted note] AH! [/note]

I always had considered the buying and sellling of stocks totally unproductive and I still do even now in October, except that I've learned it is a complex game. Money is just a tool, but it is an emotional item that I want more of since others have lots of it. As far as MSoft is concerned, I am making a fair salary but I think it should be appropriate for me to have control too, but perhaps not if I am not too excited about it all. What resources do I have (in my personality); what have I contributed to MSoft. With that I guess it's fair to say I've only gotten what's fair or due me.

What this all heads up to is that my work has always been very interesting and not

having control or responsibility has allowed me great personal freedom to do the most interesting work. So there is was again: the separation of money (ownership) and involvement (work). If I had to choose, which would I prefer, money (with shit jobs like Paul's) or a good job and no real money to get excited about. Well of course, because I've always seen work and productivity as my greatest goal, and money as just a tool to allow control, then I should be satisfied so long as I am well controlled and secure thereas. I have no reason to doubt the continuance of this so I can continue in my programming work at least for awhile.

But there are two items: first I could foresee the interesting COBOL work running out. As of today I've programmed just about all major things and do not care to program much

longer. However, that does not mean I don't want to be involved in software. I can manage + I can also look forward to that. The other topic though is: wat do I do with the excess money I am earning? Well I think its important for me to learn to invest and that discussion of money is in the brown pages. But I should say how money is relevant to my work. First, I can remember saying a long time ago "I don't want to work for the company I own." I believe that was in England in Spring. I had just decided to stay out of Law and also not to get too involved with a business. It would hinder me from enjoying life I think. But it is alright to buy stock and own other companies. This says I am giving others control and I don't have to worry about anything but which companies are good to invest in. Second, when I do get bored with my work I doubt I would just want to

change companies. I'll probably want to go to business school to learn more in order to be able to do more. And you need money for this.

There are more money thoughts in MONEY section.

The question of business school? Is my talent almost all technically oriented? I have always done best at Math and procedural things, not literature or verbal things. Should I try to correct this. I have shown some progress to this end. Surely I am more than just a programmer. Perhaps I'm not a leader, but a high level manager I can still be. Maybe it's just a matter of setting up the right mental atmosphere. I wonder if I would ever be good at running a company. I really do need the motivation.

Notice tennis and other games; I frequently don't try too hard to win, but hell if I'll lose!

I don't play too hard till I'm behind but then I really try. I'm always trying to catch up it seems. Not only in games. I'm never on the forefront, leading. maybe that is what I need: DRIVE. Remember Layne said "You could really do something if you'd only apply yourself." Rather than be a very intelligent Robot (or ohter automation) programming, and keeping technical matters straight.

But why would I want to be president. It is just another job and I have a good job now. Perhaps you won't be president but you must grow. Set your sites on the next step not the long run. All jobs are jobs simply taking different knowledge, but it is a building process. Things you've done will help you progress. There will always be shit work and perspiration but you must be able to move on and build.

Probably one of the most important ideas or concepts I had 2nd 1/4 was my down to earth, pure, unadulterated thought