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Jan 2d 1888. Mr [Capers] has gone, to [Columbia] , after [illegible] here 21 years, & Rev Mr [Dounman] has come. he is from Fredericksburg Va, God grant he may remain always with us; & make us all better Christians than we have been, that he may build up the Church & work, as we here he will do. I believe it is best mr. Copers has gone. he did not work.
Feb 3d 1888, My darling husband. To day is 14 months since you died & a lonely time I have had Fanny is as kind as possible, & I love her & am grateful, but I never can but feel desolate, I was all in all to you. the first in your affections; now I am first with nobody, and it is not expected I should be. I am grateful for the many mercies I still have. I wish to be spared to continue to publish your writings. I wish to let the world see how wise, how good a man you were, & how much I love you. Oh! I wish you were with me again, that I might devote every moment to your happiness. It seems strange why I did not do so, when you were with me I did not realise that the time [illegible] come when we would be separated. I had the idea I would die first. If we meet in a [better] world, it seems to me, I will but never to be out of sight of you. that it will
be happiness just to be near you. God grant that when I die I may go to you, & tell you, that I love you more & more. God grant that the Book soon to be published in your memory may add luster to your great name. & I not reproached for the selection I have made. I think the selection a splendid one. My husband pray for your wife, & children * grandchildren that they all may be christians, not one soul lost: & we may live to gether a united family above.
It is raining. Fanny is building a house on her lot in town. & has gone to see it. I trust she will have many happy days in it, with her children & friends, I will live the remainder of my days with her. & visit you daily, & keep your resting place in order. until I rest by your side, my dear husband [St] John [illegible] died the 1st. I wonder if you will [illegible] him, as coming from the place your dear ones live, & Mr. Marshall & Mrs. Powell did you recognise them? My precious one God bless you & make you happy is the constant prayer of your wife, & [illegible] all of us reward [illegible] for her faithful performance of duty. Oh my husband how I miss you, how I long to see you again. I am constantly reading your writing. God grant me [they] all have easy deaths. & [then] go to [illegible] [illegible]
March 3d continued from next to June 3d 1887 1888.
The Book. is now published. I hope you know it. & are pleased. I selected the pieces, proved your [illegible] character, especially your moral courage you are in my opinion, the wisest, best, greatest [noblest] man ever lived. you were the most unselfish, disinterested, statesman So. Carolina ever produced. My darling husband forgive me for ever having fretted & worried you. & made you unhappy. I love you more and more I long to be able to tell you so God grant you are now with our darling children & [these] you loved, & dear [Vandy] who idolised you, & all your children & your wife may join you, & be an unbroken circle. I am praying all the time to be made a christian, & not afraid to die. & the moment the breath leaves my body. I may be with you. what bliss unspeakable to meet you, never to part, you must intercede with God to make your loved ones true christians & for Jesus sake who died for the [illegible] of sinners, [illegible] I may be saved. Oh God forgive my sins, send down the holy spirit into my heart & take me to [heaven] when I die. God bless my husband & make him happy & grant that the Book may do honor to his memory. Adieu my darling for the present.
San Souci April 3. 1888 Greenville. So. Ca. My darling husband 16 months to day you left me every moment have you been in my thought, I have labored to honor your name & memory; & prove my love, veneration, & admiration for you. Oh! my husband I always trust you above all men; that no one was so good, so noble as you. but I did not know your full value, until I had lost you. Oh I do not see how I ever would have left you for one moment unless compelled so to do. Oh! how I regret [that] I did not devote all my time to you & consider it the greatest pleasure on earth. I regret that I read light works, & did not listen to the reading you delighted in: 50 years was too short a time to live with one of the noblest men God ever made. I pray God to give me an easy death be supported by Him in my dying hour. My sins forgiven, I may go where we are & never to part from you again & [tell] you how much I miss & [illegible] you. I regret ever having made you unhappy. My blessed husband how I love you & [illegible] your loss, [illegible] [illegible] [illegible] I have been in [illegible] [illegible] for 16 months reading your [loving] letters o me & your journal & autobiography: I would but hardly have existed without them. God bless you my dar husband, pray for me. that I [illegible] be a repentant sinner & for the sake of Jesus taken be you in heaven
Sans Souci, May 3. 1888 Thursday A.M. My darling husband To day makes 17 months since you were taken from me. God grant that you have been happy these 17 months. I pray if I am taken before another month comes around, it will be my unspeakable happiness to be taken to you my darling one. you who loved me so devotedly. Never was there a nobler heart than yours, or who loved as ardently as you loved me Oh if I could live over the 50 years you had with me, how thankful I would be. I never would tease & worry you but as you cannot return to me I must so live that I can go to you. How delightful to be with you my darling one & our precious Hayne, Nash & [illegible] & [illegible] Pauli & Vandy & W Beattie & all the dear ones you before. I hope this time next month I will be living in town & near your resting place where I can pay you a daily visit & see daily the spot where I am to lie by your side. God grant that when our bodies are lying side by side, our spirits may be together in a happy place. I am now copying extracts from your journal that relate to me. My precious husband God make you [happy] & take me & all your [illegible] ones to us when we die.