Diary, 1837–1888

to be wondered at that you, possessing all the [charms] I have just given you, should have made so easy a conquest of my heart.

I had been from childhood of a sober serious turn of mind, devoted to books & study. I was never fond of company or society. I early [imbibed?] a prejudice against the [insincerity] of the one and the heartlessness of the other. In my manner I was plain, and [unpretentious], & that proud soul which natures God has endowed me with ever seemed to humble itself or act falsely. Hence I was no courtier or Chesterfield.

But I [forbere?] to give you a sketch of my own character in your Journal This I will leave for you to [discover?. I have done so in my own Journal & with an [illegible] & [illegible] which might surprise you. My faults which are many are told with the honest frankness of one who feels & knows them & who would gladly remidy them, but who can not conceal them.

In conclusion let me say that if you will only write one sentence [every] week in this Book for twenty years, it will at the end of that time afford you more interest to look over its pages than any other Book in this world.

July 16^th 1837— B. F. Perry

Greenville July 21^st 1837.

A few days ago I formed a resolution to keep a Journal. I was at first uncertain whether I would commence from the present time, and write leave the past unrecorded, or, go back as far I can remember, from my earliest childhood, and here set down all that has occurred to me up to the present period. On reflection, I came to the conclusion that the latter mode was the best, and have therefore adopted it. The scenes of your childhood, that happiest period of our life, ought not to be past over, or forgotten, and it will afford me mingled pleasure and pain, to recur to the past and put down as well as I can remember, all that I have experienced of happenings on the reverse. I have very few incidents of interest to relate, at least that would be interesting to others, but as this book is intended for no eye but my own, it is of no consequence, whether a journal of it would excite interest in others or not, Every word that I here record, every circumstance the most minute, every thought, feeling, action &c, will at all times, and particularly years hence afford me the greatest interest imaginable. The improvement also that I hope to make in Penmanship, formation of sentences, case in composing &c. will give me great satisfaction. But perhaps I am mistaken in thinking my Penmanship, and style, will be improved by writing a Journal, for a Journal book is one you take up at any time, and write in it without any form or regularity, without improvement ever in view. I may perhaps as I go on I may be able to compose more easily than I now do, for I am so unaccus-

-tomed to writing, that I am very often at a loss to know what words to use to make my meaning understood; and have even had recourse to coining words. I will commence from the time that I first recollect myself, which is where I was five or six years old, and continue up to the present period of my life, in which I am 18, and a married Lady. Having brought it up this far, I will then every day write a little as long as I live. My husband gave me this book, with the express wish that I should make use of it, to render it more valuable to me, he wrote a preface in it. If every page in the book was blank, except the first four, it would be of inestimable value to me. We have been married three months, and he still loves me; leaves me with regret, and returns to me with pleasure. But I forgot; before I record the present; I must make mention of the past.

I was born in Charleston, on the 28th of October 1819. My Mother was a Miss Hayne. I was her fourth child. She has one Son (her eldest) and four daughters. My Father was a Lawyer. I have no recollection of him at all. He died when I was a little girl three or four years old, of Consumption at Philadelphia. My mother left us little children at home with our relations, and went on with him to the North where she became a Widow. She returned home with my Uncle Colonel Arthur Hayne, and says when we were presented to her dressed in White Frocks, and black ribbons, she thought us the sweetest

looking children she had [everer] beheld. William was a noble looking boy; (my darling brother) Susan was a sweet little girl, Ann and myself looked like twins, with beautiful Ringlets hanging over our necks, and little Daisy a little beauty. I was born in a house in Church street, but my Father purchased a house in [Legare] street, which Mamma took a fancy to, and we removed there. Our greatest delight was to [illegible], dance rope, and play in the yard with our cousins. Susan and Anna were sent to school quite young, but I and my little sister were kept at home. We were I expect good children, for I do not recollect that whippings occurred frequently among us. We had a great many relations, and every Saturday was spent among them. We all preferred dining with our Aunt [Michall's] who were much more indulgent, and kind to us than our Aunt Hayes, but we dined alternately at one house, and the other. I recollect one misdemeanor I committed when very young. My great Grandmother who adopted, and brought up Mamma stayed with us. One day Mamma gave me after dinner two apples, one large one to carry to Grandmamma, the other ^{a small one} to keep for myself, accordingly I went up stairs, hid the large one in a little bookcase and presented the small one to Grandmama, she astonished that so inferior an apple should be sent to her, kept ^it until Mamma came up. The mystery was then explained, the poor little culprit was called forward, and desired to bring the apple from its hiding place, or give account of its fate.

The apple was brought from its place of concealment and presented to the person for whom it was originally designed, and the other one given also to the rightful owner. I believe no punishment ensued, for the disgrace of being caught in a theft was thought sufficient punishment. This is the greatest fault I recollect to have commit -ted while a child. When my brother was about sixteen, Susan twelve, Anna ten, I nine, and Daisy seven, Mamma thought a residence at the North for a few years would be beneficial to us in every aspect, She fixed upon New Haven as having the best college and schools. We went on in 1828 and remained there four years, the three first years we boarded out, and the last year we kept house which we found very delightful. We first went to school to a Mrs [Tsham?], but afterwards to Miss Peter's one of the best schools that can be, we were at her school too short a time to derive as much improvement as I would have wished. A girl put to her school when quite young, and remaining until her education was finished, would be as perfectly educated as at any school I know of. The four years we spent at New Haven is the happiest period of my life, with a few exceptions we enjoyed perfect happiness. We were at the age when we [he] had nothing that could worry or distress us, we enjoyed the present without thinking of the past, or looking forward to the future, except with regret at the thought of leaving New Haven. We boarded with Miss Baldwin