May 12, 1865 pg 2

Do you know -- I couldn't for a
moment have thought of your
proposition, had I not thought you
a different person from the Harry I
knew years ago. Then you were merely
the pleasant acquaintance, not the
man I could respect and perhaps
learn to love. Now -- I don't know
what to say to you or how to say it.
I thought I should have been able
to make a final decision on this.
I dare not engage myself to you
fearing I may not love you, and I
am sorry to have you feel so sure
of me when I am no surer of myself.
I wish you were near me, that I
might prove my own heart. Indeed
I don't think I shall ever know
until we meet again, but Harry
if finally we can be nothing more
than friends, don't blame me.
I've told you not to trust me, and
really you are safer not to. You