Schlesinger Library

He had alway s been a little romantic had dreamed of an ideal love & all that but since it had become clear to him that there was little probability of his realizing his ideal of himself he had told himself that love was not for him that he was not fit for the kind of girl that he wanted & that the kind he might have he didn't care for Before Except May he had never known anyone who had tempted him It h[?]k his resolution & until that night he had not supposed that he had that kind of feeling for her. He had seen her very frequently for four months & he had enjoyed talking with her being near her but it was only when there was danger of her being taken away that he realized knew that she had come to be the first & best interest in his life. He was obliged to admit this to himself that she was so much to him it was no use to fight against the conviction he was certain that if he were [someone?] [like?] a man in Mr. Saunder's position for instance he would go the next day & ask her to be his wife. And that thought brought him to wondering what he was going to do. It would absurd for him to think of marrying under any circumstances if things were different though at that he did not know that May cared in the least for him will makeno little difference for then he would have a right to try to make her love him but now heas it was and he must not attempt to do that In a way it seemed ridiculous to even stop to think count of the reasons why he should not think of her being his wife they were so many & yet an [increase?] math hoping against hope made him go over them again & again. In the first place the

would be years before he could offer her a home as good as her father's and he knew her well enough to see that she was ambitious & not contented with the one she had so she would not be likely to be willing to share a poorer one. Then he himself could was not approach her ideal he knew. She [blunt?] unchipped refinement & was educated above those around her. She must marry with a higher class not a lower, What chance was there of her caring for him. He must not even wish her to care for him. And then there were others who might easily be considered suitors of hers, there was Ned who frankly said that she was the only girl who had any special interest for him & he felt sure that Mr. Saunders regarded her with something more than ordinary liking. These thoughts & others like them kept coming to him through the night & still he could not say to himself it israther could not make himself act as though it were truly hopeless & impossible. Meantime May had told her adventure & been scolded for her carelessness & rejoiced over for her escape. But she had time to think little about it for her father had something to tell of interest to them all. A young man had come into his office that day to get work From the [course?] of the talk it had appeared that he was interested in an invention he had been planning & which he was trying to get money enough to have patented. He had described his idea to Mr Stone & his bookkeeper who was

something of a practical mechanic & had gained their confidence to such an extent that Mr Stone? had taken him to Adjectives formed from Proper Nouns A friend are called Proper Adjectives a business As Proper Nouns are always written man of with capitals, so Adjectives derived some wealth from them are also written with capitals. He also was impressed with the excellence of the plans & it was agreed that he & Mr Stone should furnish money to get a patent & for the young man to live on while he was making his model. May couldn't understand how it was that her father should have placed so much confidence in an entire stranger, the truth was that her father who was wary of new things as a rule had an instinctive belief that this was the something which was to change his luck a belief strengthened by the enthusiasm of his bookkeeper. His friend was a man who had had to do with inventors & inventions before & had both made & lost money by them & he [reasoned?] as did Mr Stone that it couldn't be very much lost & might be a great deal gained. Having something to hope for & look forward to had done Mr Stone a great deal of good & he was brighter that evening than May had seen him for a long while. But she had a great dread lest he should be disappointed after all that took away from her pleasure. Her mother activated by a desire not to let herself think of

what she feared was too good to be can would rather unpleasantly at the castles in the air Mr Stone was [long?] [hungrily?] building. The children were anxious to know what the inventor looked like & Mr. Stone told them they would have an excellent chance to see as he was to stay with them for a time & build his model in the stable. And the next day he did come. May who happened to open the door was impressed by his boyish My name is Maud M. Wood, appearance & general and I am nine years of age. eccentricity This impression was share by the whole family. the young man whose name was Richardson Yours truly, was [convinced?] tion that there were millions in his invention Maud M. Wood & that/was very indignant at the slightest doubt of it but aside from this he was obliging & pleasant & the growth of the model became one of the chief sources of interest & conversation to the Stone's May had been in the habit of spending Wednesday afternoons with Mrs Merriam and the fact that she was to be one of her friends guests that evening did not prevent her from going the following Mrs Merriam Wednesday. They usually read aloud sometimes in a little [course?] they had planned and sometimes a new story or poem or essay that had pleased Mrs Merriam. She was an indefatigable reader bookworm herself & enjoyed making other people like the good parts of a book. May was a good pupil & some of her pleasantest hours were spent listening to her friends delightful reading. Everything

for about the house was pretty & attractive Mrs Merriams bedroom

was perfection May thought exquisitely neat & dainty from with a the Wednesday Oct 25 1880 dressing table draped in flowered silk with pretty [?] & silver backed brushes & bottles to the beautifully worked bed linens. The Merriam's were not rich but he had an excellent salary & there were no children to spend it on. Mrs Merriam [?] was a good manager could make a little go a long way & she had a passion for completeness. She liked everything about her well-finished & perfect & in consequence her house though small was the best regulated in [Halberton?] (there was nothing in it which did not really belong to a bedroom & the knick-knacks were few for Mrs Merriam thought very many small things out of place in a sleeping-room) The parlor had first of all many books & a few good pictures, there was a little nook projection curtained off at one end, with cushioned fender running along beside the square window, the whole room had the appearance of being cozy without looking being crowded which few parlors possess. The house was a very haven of rest for May & when she first knew Mrs Merriam she envied her the possession of it very heartily. But after a while she found that all these things were merely the outside & that her friend occupied busied herself with them because she wished to be busy to be doing something anything rather than thinking of herself. Mrs Merriam was a handsome woman with dark eyes &

hair almost white though she was not barely fortymany years past She had been very beautiful as a girl & a little vain & very ambitious she was the daughter of poor people her education

A Water-Lily

Oh star on the breast of the river, Oh marvel of bloom and grace, Did you fall straight down from heaven Out of the sweetest place?

You are white as the thoughts of an angel; Your heart is steeped in the sun; Did you grow in the golden city, My pure and radient one.

Nay, nay I fell not out of heaven; Non gave me my saintly white, It slowly grew from the blackness Down in the dreamy night.

From the ooze of the silent river I won my glory and grace, While souls fall not O my poet; They rise to the sweetest place.

self-acquired but her culture was instinctive. She was naturally well bred & the manners of a better higher class came to her with Wednesday Oct. 25 1880. but little effort on her part. Her husband was 16 years her senior. He held a position of considerable responsibility, a sole agent for a I have decided to keep a journal, I went large to school this morning as ususual we were company dismissed at eleven oclock because the boiler He had fallen burst, and we were dismissed at 5 minutes past in love this afternoon. W M M W M M Wood Maud Wood with her pretty face when she was twenty & she having for him a feeling Tuesday Oct 25 1880. of liking & respect married him. He was a shrewd business [his business?] man believed in living well & had been something of a sporting man before his marriage. Of his wife's intellectual powers he did not think at all he was proud of her beauty proud of their home but he never [wanted?] himself never supposed her education beyond a certain point was something that was superfluous that didn't pay. She on the contrary had unusual qualities of mind & with plenty of leisure to cultivate them she outgrew her husband. Then the unhappiness of her life began. She became familiar with the best thought of the best minds she had high ideals of life & love & her husband was a man who had no ideals at all. She came almost to detest the physical beauty which was what he liked about her & longed inexpressibly as only an educated woman can long for a chance to gain a love

[the following is written in pencil in the margins of a previously used copy book inscribed in ink in Spencerian copperplate; original writing is below.] that should be pure & shiny & real. At the same time she felt that this was ungrateful to her husband who had given her this opportunity to acquire nearly all that she knew & her life was a continual struggle between the things that she liked & thought best [word illegible] & the things that she despised but thought right for one in her position. She tried to hide this from her husband but he realized there was something between them though he could not have told what & he consoled himself by a little pleasure not really wrong but extremeley distasteful to his wife. May knew that Mrs. Merriam was unhappy & thougguessed the had an reason why idea of the reason though not clearly defined. [cyrd?] to he a than was much pity & respect mingled with her love for her friend. For May Mrs Merriam recognized a character & qualities very like her own & she had an almost motherly feeling for the girl & a desire that she might not waste her [Original ink writing:}

The Child's Hymn

We are poor and lowly born WIth the poor we bide; Labor is our heritage Care and want beside.

What of this> -- ouyr blessed lord Was of lowly birth, And poor toiling fishermen Were His freinds on earth.

We are ignorant and young Simple children all; Gifted with but humble powers, And of learning small.

What of this? -- our blessed Lord, Loved such as we; How he the little ones Setting on his knee!

opportunities or made mistakes as she had made mistakes there was an understanding & an affection between them that was very pleasant they had the same [kinds?] & likes & liked the same pursuits & Mrs Merriam's house was a second home to May. That afternoon May helped Mrs Merriam attend to the little matters that had to be arranged for the evening the drawing up of the prizes & favours arranging sorting flowers & later setting out the silver & china, Afterward they planned to have the last part for their reading & after they had given an hour or two to the English essayists whom they were studying they fell to discussing the expected guests. They were speaking of rich girl & May told Mrs Merriam how hard it had been for her to understand --- - lately. You know we used to be great friends she said but now Mabel is so strange sometimes she acts as though she were very fond of me & then she will hardly speak at all. I don't can't explain understand it at all. There is something the matter with Mabel said Mrs Merriam she isn't happy you could see that by her face she is one of those people who need somebody to love & care for & she can't get interested in things aside from people. The world to her means the men & women who live in it & nothing more. And as for [Jim?] Mrs Merriam went on he is getting vastly more sociable since he came home. Young Saunders had come to left college 2 months before & had gone into his father's mills. May

Adverbs describe actins and qualities well badly how when where here there fast slowly how then ever lately always early often seldom daily yesterday to-day to-morrow very

May wanted to laugh when she thought of Tom's speech & she had a little feeling of grateful pride too for Tom was the great embodiment of great expectations to many of her acquaintances. Violet Wilsons particularly & being too lazy or too indifferent to visit her [?] he honorably paid a half hearted sort of attention of which she was very vain, May had told herself though he make himself of thisthat what Tom had said was quite as likely to mean very little as very much & with a little effort succeeded in putting it almost out of her mind. That winter was remembered as the gayest [Halberton?] had had. To be sure the excitement was all in a small way but there were many little card parties, skating parties, two sets of theatricals & a series of dancing parties along in the spring. It followed when one person entertained that another felt that she must do likewise, the young people were meeting each other continually & as they were not many in number