Diary

9:45 Take [blue]to bank[/blue] a few pages from Fall '81 Diary concerning [blue]negotation for Seattle job.[/blue] Also store a current archive of "Memos" At home ERASE old DISK.

10:15 [blue]To Park by Leschi after getting from storage Summer 82 book Read it to see if Review in 1985 book is sound.[/blue] Lunch at Leschi Cafe. More reading at park. [blue]Go home + shred. Keep pages on Brad + SF.[/blue]

2:15 [blue]Finish that book. Mainly adding details + DATES.[/blue] It's a very good review. [pink]There was a lot of Tumult with Bob, but it didn't hurt me except to disappoint me that it wasn't more positive. Perhaps Bob would've gotten bored within the drama![/pink] Did I get served my lack of courtesy, from Bill F?

6:15 ----Sunbrella. Shower at PAC. ---At home. SNL

10:45 To bed

WED MAY 17 '89

6:45 ----[orange]Think about what I'm trying to learn from this. Perhaps I should use software like Pers Acct. No because there's a fixed amount of the singular resource namely time. It's not like having multiple Asset + Income accounts.[/orange] [blue]So all I want to do is have answers built up in two types of database 1) Sketchy chronological Daily Diary[/blue] which serves as an overview. [blue]This should have personal (work) + social (play) sides. 2) For any subject I should have details grouped together.[/blue] [pink]But if subject is too personal I wouldn't want to write down.[/pink]

[blue]There was the idea that if my life is so diffuse and unconnected that I need paper to remember it, then maybe its too complex.

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[diagram] Business Finance [smily face] Management [frowning face] each aspect MKG P.M R&D has both

[orange]I'm a successful professional, but not manger. Financier, mathematician, programmer.[/orange] [pink]Look for someone to complement me physically and conceptually MAY JUST TRY LA/SD FOR 6 MONTHS like I was trying Seattle in early 82...

----[blue]Off to storage to put away pages on trip to SF with Brad. Look at Dec 11 - 17 Note on Mgt vs Design. Go through stack for any other notes. Add a few remarks to Review in 1985 Diary.[/blue]

[pink]Relationship with Bob really did end for awhile at the end of Dec 1982. And that first winter [orange]I recognized my need to move toward DESIGN, and de-emphasize IMPL MGT.[/orange]

12:00 Ben sharp[/pink] calls ~ PV + Prom, investments.

12:30 -----

[blue]Work on checking review of 2/15-4/15/83, shredding it. Adding details, primarily dates.[/blue]

----- 60 Min ~ Savants.

[blue]More work on that review[/blue]

7:00 Goto Fremont SMB. Shoulders. Good Workout, and not as crowded as I remember last summer... Shower.

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Think through what I discovered today

1:00 To bed

THU MAY 18 '89

7:00 -----

8:30 Barrons Prices.

8:45 [blue]CONTINUE REVIEW '83. THIS HELPS ME SEE THE VALUE OF THE TIME SPENT, GIVEN WHAT EVENTUALLY TURNED OUT. FINISH. DECIDE TO KEEP BOOK JACKETS WITH THEIR 2 PAGES OF INSIGHTS + OVERVIEW.

PUT MONTH CALENDARS FOR JUNE-AUG '83 ON STANDARD-FORM WEEKLY SHEETS. USE RAZOR BLADE TO REMOVE OTHER 1985 STUFF FROM THAT BOOK, SO THE REVIEW OF 1982-1983 THEREIN KEEPS THE COVERS.

11:45 TAKE TO STORAGE FALL + SPR BOOK JACKETS JUNE-AUG IN STANDARD FORM REVIEW OF 1982-93.[/blue]

Over to Bellevue Sea Galley. car wash too. Feel alone.

2:00 To Microsoft for Health Coverage Signature. [blue]Back to Storage to look at Summer 1982 Progress Reports + other memos so I could date stamp certain closing remarks in review

NOTICE that all of this covers Aug 80 - Aug 83 a 3-year period just after that covered by the ONE multicolored book! So put rubber band around remaining books and an index card describing the period![/blue]

SO THAT'S THAT! UP TO THE POINT I SENSED [BLUE]MAJOR TRANSITION IN OCT 1983![/BLUE] SINCE THEN ITS BEEN ACCT + FINANCE MOSTLY...

GO HOME. -----

[PINK]IGNORING GAY FACTORS I SHOULD DECIDE ABOUT LIVING IN SD SF LA etc on basis of other advantages, because I'm not socially included[/pink] [margin]![/margin]

[blue]Pull out all diaries still at hom 1986-88. How or what will I do with all this?

5:45 Take these + what's left of 85 book + binder on Real Estate + Lifestyle, to storage, from where I will pull it back in dribs + drabs to go through + see how to keep what... [margin]![/margin]

And bring home 1983/84 pack of 3 books.[/blue] So everything of sensitive personal writings is out of my apartment, except the part I'm working on.

6:15 To library for Infoworld. Gold Goin. Dinner. VL too.

I FEEL TEMPTED TO NOTE AS IN THE OLD DAYS TODAY IS MID 1/4 AND NOW THAT MY REVIEW IS DONE THRU OCT 83, I CAN REFLECT ON WORK OF MORE CURRENT SIGNIFICANCE, AND CLOSER TO MY HEART! [margin]![/margin]

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CONFLICT OR AWKWARD [PINK]NEED A PERSONAL LIFE OUTSIDE WORK IF I AM TO WORK WITH OTHERS BUT I CAN'T DO A SOCIAL LIFE THRU WINTER.[/PINK]

9:00 KNOTS LANDING - 2 CIDERS (2 HOUR FINALE)

10:30 [PINK] OUT TO NEIGHBORS (SEE A FEW PEOPLE), BALCONY, AND TUBS SINCE I HADN'T SHOWERED TWICE TODAY YET.[/PINK] NOT INTO SEX - FELT HOW BAD I WAS SNUBBING SOME. CLASSICAL MUSIC.

12:45 TO HOME, TO BED.

FRI MAY 19 '89

7:45 ----[blue]Think about putting Diaries into Mac so[/blue] I don't have to make forms, by hand. I can search the info If I rarely, if ever, access the info, I need never print it out. [margin]Since it is "deeper" info [comment]than accounting[/comment] I would spend more time when I do access it, so ok to use MAC.[/margin] It's much more compact on disk, hideable. [margin]![/margin] [blue]But to show a full weel at 4 lines/day,[/blue] [orange]I would need a taller monitor. Time for IICX?[/orange] [margin][pink]Think ~ weekend. SD? VBC? S. Cal?[/pink][/margin]

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To Ma Pk. Legs. Slow going.

[pink]Before I go anywhere I should know why, ie I should have a reason, and for that I need my info pulled together.[/pink] So I guess I should do IIcx first? Sorrento?

12:15 Lunch at Peter's in M. Pk. [pink]House on Wash Pk wo view could be nice...[/pink]

1:00 At home, call America West. 7-day required. NB: [pink]Even though I could do 1st class or coach on short notice, it's tough for others to come visit me[/pink]

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[pink]Could I carry a relationship through Winter? If I couldn't with Bob, then with anyone? Is it winter that limits me? Or my social skills? Winter has an effect for sure, but is this [social skills] enough?[/pink]

1:15 Finish Safeco Health Appl, copy, send.

1:45 ---[pink]Call Mom + Dad[/pink] ~ trip plan to Klara + Marge.

2:45 ----Go get cash for Gold. Dress up. ----[blue]To Storage to deposit ACLU mail of today.[/blue] [yellow]To RCG.[/yellow] [pink]To Mario's to pickup pants.[/pink] Leave Silk jacket to be "taken in." Go home. Deposit Gold. -----

5:15 Go to return Levis. No 33x34 to buy... ----Reread Infoworld + put away. WSW

9:00 Weekend at Bellevue Hyatt, reading? [pink]No desire to go out of country, so no VBC. Meg's trial Wednesday, so avoid Portland. But there is cheap fare to LA....$198.[/pink] [blue]With lots done that had to be done in Seattle, I can get away to read 83/84 stuff. -----

10:00 To bed. One Amit.

SAT MAY 20 '89

SUNY 60'S

6:30 ----- No cheap non-advance fare to SD or SF. [pink]Reserve Hotel + Car. Call Mom + Dad.[/pink] Pack. Finish Barron's (Cap Gains). ----Stop mail. [pink]Drive to airport. Got last parking SPOT.[/pink] Checkin. Snack. [orange]Read Vis Disp of Q Data.[/orange]

12:45 On plane, read AAII + [Vis Disp of Q Data]

2:45 Get car. Got dark Red + Gray. Great! To LA, but not feeling up. Just ok. Checkin + unpack.

4:15 Go get coffee - my mind is blank [BLUE]START FALL '83. FEELS SO NEW! It was a new period of my life.[/blue]

[blue]Just read it for now. Don't interpret. Such a sense of frustration.[/blue]

8:00 ---- Source. March Tufts.

7:15 [blue]More 1983 (Nov)[/blue] ---- Groceries. [blue]More 1983 (Finish Nov, 1st pass)[/blue]

9:00 Golden Girls.

9:30 [pink]Wanna Go out, but not stay out too late.[/pink]

10:15 Check Cheers, etc, down to Spike. Good Music Nice people to talk with, incl [pink]Peter V.[/pink] Nice looking guys: Dennis, Blond Jim. [pink]But due to ingrown hairs on legs, and fact that I won't see them again, don't put time into going home with them. Wanna do gym tomorrow too.

Alternating Tequila + sodas, 3 times. zzzs help me relax + have fun...[/pink]

2:15 Leave

2:30 To bed. One Amit.

SUN MAY 21 '89 LA 75° Seattle Hi 62°

9:45 -----

10:45 [blue]Finish first pass of Fall '83 Diary, and peek at start of Winter '84.[/blue]

12:15 -----At pool, relax awhile in sun. Seafood Pasta. Read summary of [orange]Interactive Multi. DIFFUSE.[/orange] Relax a bit more

2:15 ------ Coffee.

2:45 [pink] To WHAC. Ok workout, but some odd vibes from the help + some members. Dizzy. People talking about Long Beach party (last night) say it was odd to, bad production. See Shawn Farnsworth, who'd been swimming. Ask about Martini Ranch. Probably NOT. So few people has Production sense. Video.[/pink]

Shower. Creeping feeling of being horny, since this morning no J/O. But go drive to Martini Ranch.

[pink]Old feeling of being alone in LA on Sunday. And no parks or beaches etc close by. On other visits I've been zonked so I was tired + didn't notice it, OR busy. Except June Parade Day was that way a bit. Nothing going on at the Ranch. If I lived here, I'd be dependent on social activities to keep happy Sundays. That's not a good aspect of me to stress.[/pink] Probably good I didn't come here in [pink]February,[/pink] as it [pink]would blown my fantasy, which, as Rose Nyland pointed out last night, can be better for you to have.