Geek Weekly #2 [November Food'n'Fun issue]

Ode To My Tye Dye

It's ever so lovely In colors galore My pretty new tye dye I got at the store It was a white t-shirt So plain for to see But now it's got colors So come, look at me! It gets me in free At the Grateful Dead show It tells other hippies That I'm in the know I never do wash it When it starts to soil I throw me some beet juice and patchouli oil In a big metal pot And swirl it about It comes out all stripey All the people shout "Hey you, hippie freak What the hell's with the shirt?" I smile at them blankly Their words do not hurt But the heavy rocks do As they hurl them at me

My tye dye turns reddish In bloody misery I think to myself "Hey maybe they're right Being a nostalgic hippie Being stoned every night Is just pointless and stupid Don't give me the plan To free clothes and food stamps And hating the man Think I'll throw 'way this tye dye..." But then I remember the fun I had At Jerry's last show and how Individual all of us Thousands of fans are Cause we all dressed And thought the same And oh yeah can you spare A joint and some change?

-David Jungen (Poet, geek, cynic)

[image of boy pointing and shouting, "HADJI!"]

OK, SO LAST ISSUE I SAID TO BUY ALL THE FELLS 7"S YOU COULD GET YER [sic] PAWS ON, WELL HERE'S A FELLS DISCOGRAPHY FOR YA. WE'LL CALL IT A SHOPPING LIST: 1. SPACE GIRLS 7" (DARK TWIST) Also has Sleep With You + [and] Uma on it. All three are excellent & they are even good recordings. Space Girls is really long and, well, spacey. Perfect! Sleep With You & Uma are very catchy - well so's the rest of their stuff, but Uma's simple & will stick to your skull lining for days. 2. HAJI 7" (TOXIC SHOCK) Split w/ Rancid Hell Spawn. Also has Fells' Dig It. I'm gonna have to ask Heath about this "Haji" thing because I let myself start wondering who he's talking about and now I'm possessed with the need

to know! It's an unbeatable tale of unrequited love and a lovely song to boot. Grab one & join me on the path of discovery (ew, yuck.) No really - it's good. (Yeah, I know that cartoon is of something entirely different!) 3. PEYOTE STOMP 7" (WEST WORLD) I don't know why the fuck it's called Peyote Stomp 'cause the songs on it are called Walking and Wanting & ESP. Walking & Wanting is just a good song & ESP is too, but on this particular listening we were realizing how the Fells' lyrics make 'em sound like geeks, but they're cool, therefore, when on listens to 'em one thinks, "Gee they sound like geeks, but they're cool, maybe I (a geek, of course) can beee cooool toooo!" I guess you call that inspirational or something. But then we noticed that (just as it was illustrating this key Fells point to us), it's A COVER! Weird.

[bold] TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR A COMPLETE MAN...OR ASTROMAN DISCOGRAPHY!!

4. Theres also a 10" record called AMPED(Westworld). It's great, although I like it best as background/puttering-around-the-house music. It'll get yer toes tappin' - you know.

So there are the records. I suggest you go buy 'em all, but most importantly, go see 'em live! The live shows are definitely the best way to experience the Fells & I don't know what I would think about their records if I couldn't imagine that sumptuous band up there rockin'!

So there - write 'em & tell 'em to get down here.

Smart me. This isn't a complete discography. It's only what I've seen & bought. Here's more: [bullet] Fun Date 7" (3rd World Underground) [bullet] Visitor 7" (Dark Twist)

+ some songs on comps. (4 songs to be exact.)

FELLS PO BOX 43291 TUSCON, AZ 85733

OR

FELLS PO BOX 1641 TUSCON, AZ 85733

Ok, so my friend from New York, Sassy Velour gave me this so as to advertise her fan club. The proceeds from this club either go to putting Sassy through grad school or maybe she'll shoot it all into her arm. You never know with that nutty chick. But for all of you who have ever dreamed of starting your own cult of personality, why don't you just support this one then see how it works out (& I'll report back to you on how it's going) and you can decide if you want to go through with it on your own or not. Plus you'll get something in your mailbox, loser.

Sassy Velour FAN CLUB! [image of a woman] A BIG SASSY HELLO TO ALL OF MY LOYAL FANS AND ADMIRERS OUT THERE! SURE, THE LIFE OF A LOUNGE SINGER / SPOKESMODEL IS GLAMOROUS AND EXCITING, BUT I OWE IT ALL TO YOU, MY FANS. TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LOVING SUPPORT FOR ALL THESE YEARS, I'M OFFERING YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL!!! A CHANCE TO JOIN THE Sassy Velour FAN CLUB! HERE'S WHAT YOU GET: - AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF ME, Sassy Velour - A PERSONAL Sassy Velour FAN CLUB WALLET-SIZED MEMBERSHIP CARD. "IT'S LAMINATED"! - SOMETHING UNIQUE, SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT, SOMETHING NOT QUITE LIKE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS [?]

JUST SEND ONE DOLLAR AND A SELF-ADDRESSED, STAMPED ENVELOPE TO: Sassy Velour FAN CLUB P.O. BOX 33510 AUSTIN, TX 78764