Diary

[highlight]SO IF I GET ENOUGH SLEEP, IS CRYSTAL OK? I STILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MY HEALTH. DRUGS ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU AND YOU HAVE JUST ONE BODY,[/highlight] WHICH I KNOW I WANT TO KEEP IN GOOD SHAPE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

IN ANY CASE, [highlight]NEVER DO COKE OR CRYSTAL LATE SO THAT I CAN'T SLEEP.[/highlight]

10:30 [highlight]WRITE UP CARD HILITING THESE POINTS.[/highlight]

11:00 TAKE MONTHLY DISK TO BANK. GET SOME CASH. STAMPS AT P.O. GROCERIES. DRY CLEANERS.

TRY TO FIND SECTION ON READING [highlight]BRAD'S DRUG BOOK[/highlight]... CAN'T. (see next page) LOOK AT THAT BOOK AGAIN. INTERESTING

1:00 MAKE + EAT LUNCH

2:00 GOTO WORK FINISH MISC BUGS. DINNER AT RAX. (HOW CAN I TELL MOM + DAD IF I GET AIDS. BUMMER.) MORE BUGS. READ INFOWORLD WHILE REMAKING WORLD RESEARCH DOS 3.2, 4.0, 5.0 FOR 286, FOR 386 IN LAST 6 MONTHS OF INFOWORLD.

11:30 LEAVE FOR HOME. MISC

12:00 GOTO BED

THUR DEC 4

8:15 GET UP LATE, SINCE TO BED LATE. MISC PAY 5 MONTHLY BILLS. DO YESTERDAY'S MAIL. INDEX WHERE DID MY "HOW TO PARTY" CARDS GO?

STILL CONCERNCED ABOUT DRUGS AND PROMISCUITY, I REALIZE THEY WERE STILL A BIG PART OF MY LIFE IN 1984. MY LAST BOOK FINISHED IN OCT 84, AND I WAS STILL DOING MDA EVEN VISITING BILL F!

BUT THEN I WROTE NOTHING TILL MID MAY '85 WHEN PERSONAL ACCOUNTANT WAS DONE. AGAIN I NOTICED PARALLEL OF 82-83 WITH 84-85, AND PROBABLY 86-87,

DESIGN FOLLOWED BY CODING WRAP UP IN SPRING/SUMMER OF 2ND YR

AND I WANTED TO SEE HOW DRUGGY AND PROMISCUOUS I WAS IN 1985, BUT THE ONLY BOOK GOES FROM MAY '85 - JULY '85 AND NOT MUCH THEREAFTER.

[highlight]I FOUND PART ABOUT BRAD'S DRUG BOOK SUN JUN 23 1985, AT WHICH TIME I REALIZED ALCOHOL IS USEFUL + FUN ONLY IN SMALL AMOUNTS SINCE IT'S A DEPRESSANT, AND THAT MY DRUG OF CHOICE WAS AMPHETAMINES[/highlight]

[highlight]BUT I DID SOME CRYSTAL THAT AFTERNOON AND IT WASN'T REWARDED. I HAD JUST A SO-SO TIME. SAME THING AT PARADE THE NEXT WEEKEND. THE PROBLEM IS THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING INTERESTING GOING IT MAKES YOU EVEN MORE BORED THAN YOU WOULD BE WITHOUT IT.[/highlight]

SO MY CONCLUSION IS THAT CRYSTAL NEVER MAKES ANYTHING BETTER AND IF WHAT'S HAPPENING IS FUN ANYWAY, THEN YOU DON'T NEED IT, RIGHT?

12:00 GO TO WORK FINISH 80286/386/DOS RESEARCH GYM FIX BUGS PROGRESS REPORT

12:30 AM LEAVE

1:15 TO BED

FRI DEC 5 '86

9:15 GET UP. MISC. READ WSJ

11:00 FINISH READING MY ONLY 1985 BOOK. EVIDENTLY WORKING IN PERS ACCT HAD TAKEN ME AWAY FROM FREQUENT DRUG TAKING OF SPRING '82 - FALL '84 (FALL '84 STILL WAS DRUGGY -- MDA BY MYSELF ON LABOR DAY [insert]and Oct 6 at Russian River[/insert] AND WITH BILL AT THE GORGE.) BUT I WAS STILL QUITE PROMISCUOUS IN 1985, AND IT [highlight]WASN'T TILL SUMMER 86 THAT I STARTED THINKING ABOUT GETTING A FRIENDSHIP STABILIZED FOR THE LONG-TERM WITH SOMEONE LIKE BILL, BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT,[/highlight] AND I WAS STILL SEEING OTHERS LIKE STEVE MARKHAM AND BILL CROFT, AND I KNEW BILL WASN'T RIGHT FOR ME.

11:45 MISC

12:00 ORDER SPRINT + MAIL IT. TRY TO PICKUP SEA C[?]UNS NOT IN CARTOONS. GO TO GREAT EARTH + HOME

1:00 MAKE + EAT LUNCH

2:00 GOTO WORK READ INFOWORLD RESYNC + TELL JOHN G ~ CH[?]RINT.C

3:30 LOOK THRU ALL INFOWORLDS MACWORLDS AND BYTE [SINEE?] JULY FOR ARTICLES ON PERS ACCTING.

6:30 GO HOME MAKE + EAT DINNER. START BOOK ON PHARAMCOLOGY, GOTO TAN. HOME + SHOWER

9:00 MISC HOUSEWORK. ![group]CHECK WRITINGS FROM LAST FEB. REALIZE I WAS ONE OF THE TOP 10 LARGEST SHAREHOLDERS JUST AFTER IPO.[/group] CALL MARK THOMPSON. LEAVE MESSAGE. MORE HOUSEWORK. READ A LITTLE MORE OF DRUG BOOK.

11:00 TO BED.

SAT, DEC 6 '86

9:00 GOTO WORK. TEST SCOTT'S CHANGES. SEND EMAIL TO TONY + SCOTT

10:30 GO HOME + PACK + LEAVE.

11:45 VERY FOGGY. WONDERING IF FLIGHT WILL LEAVE. OR HOW LATE?

12:15 FLIGHT SHOULD ONLY BE 15 MIN LATE. READ INFOWORLD WHILE WAITING

1:15 FINISH [INFOWORLD' IN FLIGHT JUST BEFORE LANDING

2:55 LAND + WALK OUT OF AIRPORT MARK PICKS ME UP. GO BY TIFFANY'S FOR CHANDON CHAMPAGE (JUST LIKE I GAVE MOM) AND DRY CLEANERS.

3:45 AT HOME, START TO MAKE OUT, END UP IN BED. VERY FUN, BUT [highlight]HESITANT.[/highlight] FORGET ABOUT GOING TO GYM. FELT SOMEWHAT LIKE FUCKING MARK, [highlight]BUT REALIZED IT'S AWWARD, PSYCHOLOGICALLY + EMOTIONALLY[/highlight] SO WE JUST JERK OFF AFTER LONG FOREPLAY. AND THEN FEEL MUCH MORE RELAXED.

4:45 TAKE IT EASY AND CLEAN UP, MORE COFFEE BUY CROGERIES, ITALIAN DINNER, ETC. DROP BY [T?]IM STEELE + STEVE MORELAND [FOREAIVER?] LID FOR COOLER. DELI FOR CHEESE + CRACKERS. FUN + RELAXED.

It's good we didn't go to gym. It would have been too rushed, and not having had sex for two weeks I would have gone out of control at party

6:30 So we got ready for party and I found out Bob Lamotto was coming to Marks pre-party first. Small world of a-gays!

8:00 Nice party with Dennis Reno, Alex, Dennis (short Jap), Bob Lamotto, Mark + me. Looking at Halloween pictures.

8:45 Go to Tim Steel's housewarming/Xmas party. Very nice A-gay gym crowde. Bruce Placko, Bruce Spencer, Bill (blonde ~ LA), Brian short stocky (who evidently likes me) Dave Davis, and beautiful city view.

12:00 Out to Metro for coffee + kalua.

1:30 Home + to bed. No sex. Slept pretty well.

Sun, Dec 7 '86

9:15 Mess around + Mark screws me. (Writing this now, Monday, I wish I could use a more romantic word, but can't)

8:45 It was fun, and then got up. Another very pretty day. Cleaned up + have breakfast at home. (Feeling a little slow but not bad. Probably had a little too much champagne.) Mark calls around to get people to go to beach. Pick up Don from gym + drive through marina area, buy sandwiches, go to Black Sands.

1:00 Very pretty day, not many at beach. But it was warm + relaxing. Lay in sun, run on beach. Still felt a little awkward, quiet, but OK. Eat picnic lunch. Take pictures.

3:00 Leave. Take Don home. Go to gym.

4:00 Show Mark my routine. Good time. He has a tendency to socialize...

6:00 They close up, we leave. Get showered + clean at home. Chinese dinner. Tell ~ Microsoft + me.

7:30 Go to IBeam to talk + dance. See Gordan Crespo. (big, tall, handsome) fun time, but not ecstatic.