Diary

TUE 7/16

Thought about the mess I'm in awhile. Attempt going to Body ~9:30 but just couldn't. Too many trolls.

So I went to work + studied RBASE 5000.

Came home lunch 1-2

I went to buy Dress for Success and read it till 4

From 4-6, I went to Body, Metro + Ironworks. Just couldn't any of them then

From 6-7, went to Wendy's + couldn't eat there so I brought it home.

I should get in habit of exercising at night so I can work during day, like accountants do. In any case, maybe I'll meet some professionals at gym if I go at night...

7:00 Went to gym + Mark Sykes was still there. So I left + came back at 7:30. Worked out till 9:00

9-11:00 Talked with Vic. Exercised back. Talk about New York + clothes. Read Dress for Success

At the gym I did squates too heavy (45+20). I felt that grinding in my back. Do 35 to warm up, 45 twice + 45 + 10 3 times. That wears me out after 20 reps each.

Also noticed I can do 8 reps of 205 lb fairly easily on decline bench!!

Wed 7/17

Because I did 45+20 squats I grinded my back, so it hurt, so I went to Dr Failla who said sacrum was twisted. Don't do heavies! Twenty reps of 35, 2*45, 3*55 is enough!

Went to Frederick's for boxers, but the are much to baggy. Wasted time.

Read WSJ, do mail. BORING. Go get lunch (fish) + eat in backyard

12:30-1:15 Tan + read Dress for Success

1:15-2 Get ready + go to work

2-3 Give demo. Jeff + Ida ask for disks. Joe Rehfeld grudgingly also.

3-5 Make disks for them + note on startup + exit. We'll see if they stay enthusiastic.

Call Kaycee. Not in. Talk with Kristi. Not much interest by her big-buck clients, but she'll talk with New York marketing guy, etc. She has 10 clients using Home Acct, but advises Kaycee better for this. Smaller forms. Only 1/3 of 1/3 is personal.

5-6 Come home, get settled.

Would I have used Pers Acct before HBS or doing intro book on Accting? DOCUMENTATION IS CRITICAL. Probably not. Not even of great interest till I had quite a bit of $$. And would I spend $1000 on a home computer? $500? Probably not, but

Dinner

Read "Dress"

Do Pers Acct

Go to Bed

7/18

Think some more. Go to gym. Bob was there. Not too boring. Home for snack + J/O + go to C. Rhyme for gold coin + deposit with July Archive into Safe Deposit Box. Go get Photos too. At home, reconcile State Farms payments to what I ought to get. I did well since they didn't charge the deductible and I got money for that jewelry. Decide not to update Pers Acct for that or other depreciation till this winter when I have more time. Make new to do list. Business clothes are highest priority.

Buy Tenactin. Pick up Church's chicken for lunch. Eat in backyard in the sun. Read WSJ in sun. Take MAC to Bob's office + show him pictures of parade. Exchange boxers for "slim guy." Buy Brads 501s. Go to work. Find tacky Microsoft 10 year poster of Bill + Paul. No other mail. Go home at 5:00 pm.

Before + after dinner I reread "Dress" and made shopping notes for tomorrow.

Then I read CPA Exam book. Realized again I'm not a business person. I am a scientist,

they will be getting cheaper.

engineer, designer with little ability to deal with ambiguity or politics. That means I should find a mate who can fill those needs, and I should not view them as better or worse because I am necessary. But don't try to be strategic or social beyond my means. I need a boyfriend to take me to social things.

If I'm not strategic or clever, then at least I must be fun (KEY focus for now), and do things to please him. Don't ever give the impression of being a virile daddy. I'm not aggressive politically, have no hairy chest or big dick, and I'm not really strong.

But I must look for someone who is those things, and yet who doesn't feel uncomfortable about my making big bucks. He should also, so that's another reason to go to NY/SF/LA.

I can't take care of anyone. I'm not practical enough, or able to deal with real world.

10:00 Call Brad, Mom + Dad, go to bed

FRI JULY 19

7:00 Up feeling groggy + sleepy

8:00 Think some more about last night and not being a businessman. In May '80 right after HBS I realized who I am. HBS was very important for me

It made me more aware of the diversity of the world

It showed me my strengths and weaknesses

It was just the right length of time

After that I went back to languages with Seidel and Microsoft, and also got involved with Personal Finance late that summer and fall (with tech'l analysis). But that's as far into business DP as I want to go. I'm a computer scientist not a programmer.

I like getting into things deeply. I wish I could have other people like me for friends. Someone to relate to.

Why is it so hard to remember I'm not a top man in life. Maybe because I'm physically big, and muscular. So others always think "Oh, daddy" and so do I. But I'm not. I've always been daddied, by Dad, by Bill Gates, Chip, Bill Glass, Bob, etc. Look for a "daddy" to love.