Diary

Winter at Stanford was very dry sexually. Granted the Spr more than made up for it. But it was good. No worries. Just fun. Apr 1 (when I got 2nd place in Jockey short dance contest) thru June (end) when I broke up with George.

The summer I was working so hard I rarely went to the bars. But I did have Joe Brown, a real lover. He kept me clean.

That ended when Fall began. Whenever I was in ABQ until now even, I rarely did anything sexual except with Chip Kehoe. I laid Jim LaJeune sometimes, only twice. When I went out of town to NY twice, to LA, SF, LA for CTHX, DC for pre Xmas, Seattle, I screwed around but only exploratorively to see what the gay scene was like. I have very little interest

in the guys anywhere except for those in LA> I have had no desire to go anywhere this Winter, except LA, and then to live there. I have felt uneasy with Kehoe too. He is so uncommunicating it is torture. Sure we're just friends + he is just a stopgap till I can move but I keep forgetting that.

Notice I say "till I can move." I MUST MOVE TO LA!!!

This Winter I have laid no one except Chip. I have had only one derilict night. I am due for a night out with the boys tonight.

So I've only been trashy when I came out, and this last Spring. Otherwise since then I've been quite romantic, except when out of town... or when Chip's been out of town; that's not funny cuz we owe each other nothing.

Things to do this weekend

No MicroSoft write resume - or get info figure out EDITX wash clothes vacuum room - clean bathroom thoroughly get business mag - Apr 76 pay those bills, Micro + mine Finish reading adv, etc. Go through stack, balance chkbook Write Mom + Dad Write Meg + Ken Write Tom Fleming Take photos to Fox should have little left to do. think quite a bit. record revelations. exercise Sunday dry cleaners gas + car wash give Chip card coral necklace for mom Deposit $10 in checking acct

Sat'day Jan 22

Before writing my resume which will require using this book quite a bit, I want to write some last notes about what I have sacrificed for MicroSoft.

1) went all summer with hole in car, so I would not be disabled week. Had to pay $75 to get fixed too which insurance would have paid. 2) All time not used for MSoft was for something necessary personally to me - eating, exercise, sleeping, shopping for food, clothes, etc. very efficient 9 months. 3) worked out of an apartment for 6 months. Nothing would have gotten done otherwise. 4) Used my car with no guarantee for reimbursement 5) Only 7 hours sleep 6) No thinking 7) Eating by myself and eating out which is expensive 8) exercising loss

Nevertheless, it has been beneficial to me. I wanted to do all the stuff I did. I learned a lot. The only deal I got for MSoft is GE which is a damn good one but it means I don't have to take a cut in salary NOW. I couldn't afford that. NCR + DTC would have gone through regardless. ADDS probably would have [fanned?] out eventually anyway. All the others have falled thru which is fine by me. CDC may come through too, and Zilog + Intel + Millenium but we will have to wait + see. Also Zehntel would have gone through by itself.

So I have just used up tons of money, gotten MSoft extremely committed, but I have no commitment to it. I have learned a lot. I will come away with $18k + a lot of good memories + education. I am resting this 1/4. Nothing to exerting.