Diary

Skiing Tues, Thurs, Sunday.

WED AUG 20 '86

9:00 Debug extend key. Check stuff in. Lots of stuff from ssync. Two remake worlds.

5:00 Leave for home. Go to Bills. Tense. Nervous. Nice dinner. Potatoes, vegetables + cauliflower.

7:00 Movie "The Great Wall." Tension since I was hazy after working. Frozen yogurt. Tension due to correcting driving. Drive to Queen Anne Hill. Go home. To bed. Of course Bill's sleepy, J/O, but I still can't sleep since I was looking forward to more. Very restless sleep all night.

THURS AUG 21 '86

6:00 Get up. Not a pleasant morning. Go get milk, boil eggs. Ice queen. Go to Michaels to ski

7:00 Ski several times. Fun with Michael and then we go by ourselves. A little better feeling.

9:00 Go for cash machine. Bill gets tense since none are open. Go get apple fritter at Schumachers. Get cash finally. Bill invites me in "to pee." On phone to bank + employers. Finally I get him into his bed. We talk about how I felt last night and about his tension coming + going. Finally got him to relax. And we have pretty good sex. Fun + fulfilling, but no fucking. Go home + clean up. Call Bob + Mom (about Meg's visit).

Why? 4/7/89 From Sunday the 17th, I had hope.

1:00 Lunch + laundry.

1:45 Go to work, and do errands.

3:30 AT WORK, WRITE PROGRESS REPORT. DO EMAIL + RESSYNC.

4:30 LEAVE. GO HOME MISC

5:15 [highlight]TAKE COMPUTER TO BOBS.[/highlight] MISC GOTO MOM + DAD'S FOR MEG'S BIRTHDAY

10:00 CALL BILL. TO BED

FRI AUG 22 '86

8:15 LEAVE FOR GYM.

10:30 GOTO WORK. WRITE "EXTEND, GOTO" STEAK / POTATO BBQ WITH TONY BY POND.

1:30 GO HOME, SINCE NO SPEC YET.

2:15 READ INFOWORLD IN BACKYARD

3:45 GOTO MAD BEACH. READ BOTTOM LINE. TALK WITH GUSTAVO MEDINA.

5:00 MISC AT HOME. [highlight]BUY STEAMER + 2QT REVERE POT. STEAM VEGETABLES FOR DINNER. BILL CALLS WHILE COOKING. MISC BILL CALLS AGAIN. GO OUT AT 10:30 MISC [highlight]CALL CHIP. TALK QUITE AWHILE.[/highlight] CALL MOM + DAD. GET THEM TO GO TO EARLY TRAIN RIDE.

10:15 GOTO BILL'S HAVE SEVERE BACK PAIN LIKE NAUSEAU, BUT MORE MUSCULAR. GOTO PLACE ABOVE CENTURY. EMPTY GOO INSIDE PASSAGE. OK, NICE TALK. GOTO HOMBRES. BILL LOVES IT. TAKE THEM HOME [highlight]DON'T EVEN DISCUSS STAYING OVER SINCE I JUST DON'T FEEL I WANT IT[/highlight] [comment]I should've communicated at some point (4/7/89)[/comment]

GO HOME. SLEEP WELL

SAT AUG 23 '86

WAKE UP FEELING LIKE I'M ALONE. BUT EVEN IF I HAD BILL AS A FRIEND, HE WOULDN'T BE A CLOSE ONE, SO I'D STILL BE ALONE. BUT HE IS A CARING FRIEND AND [highlight]I JUST NEED TO GET OVER HIM SEXUALLY,[/highlight] ND WE'LL BE FINE. MISC

9:30 CALL BILL. STILL SLEEPING.

9:45 GOTO [highlight]SNOQUALMIE FALLS.[/highlight]

11:00 TAKE [highlight]TRAIN RIDE.[/highlight] PRETTY TIRED BUT THEY LIKED IT, SO OK.

1:30 GOOD LUNCH IN NORTH BEND AT CHALET. TURKEY, ETC. DRIVE BACK, STOPPING AT BIRTHDAYS TO GET GIFT FOR TONY BUT THEY'RE OUT. NOT MUCH CONVERSTAION ON WAY BACK.

3:45 ARRIVE HOME

4:00 GOTO GYM. WORK OUT. SE CUTE HUNK WHO ALWAYS TEASES ME AND HE DID SO AGAIN IN HOT TUB.

6:00 GO HOME. FINISH READING [highlight]SGN.[/highlight] SOUNDS LIKE THERE ARE SOME [highlight]HOT HOOKERS IN TOWN, BUT THE PERSONALS ARE PRETTY SORRY.[/highlight] CALL MOM ABOUT NOT COMING OVER.

6:45 DINNER. [highlight]READ SGN "SERVICES" SECTION AGAIN.[/highlight] ONLY 2 MALE PROSTITUTES WHO SOUND MUSCULAR : [J?]ACK WEID + SOME TACOMA GUY WHO CHARGES ONLY 40 BUCKS. PRETTY MINIMAL. [highlight]DIDN'T GO GO TONY'S HOUSE WARMING DUE TO NO DATE TO TAKE... DAMN IT.[/highlight] GO FOR WALK IN THE PARK TO THINK. [highlight]MEET JUAN ENINGER IN RED CORVETTE.[/highlight] JUST [highlight]23 YRS OLD[/highlight] BUT INTERESTING. TALKS LIKE STALLONE. HAIRY HAIRY CHEST. NICE BUNS, BUT NOT BUILT + NOT CUT. BUT AFTER SIZING EACH OTHER UP, [highlight]WE CHECKED OUT THE DON[B?]LE HEADER. I'D ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THAT. THEN JUST TO TUGS. SWEETHEART.[/highlight] NO STRONG AVERSION TO SOUND SYSTEM OR THE MUSIC LIKE BILL HAD.

12:00 TOOK ME HOME AND DROPPED ME OFF

12:30 Out to Neighbors. Kirt (of Mercer Island) is friendly and even says "Tell Bill to get some less sticky lube" which is why he didn't stay Wednesday night before I left for Olympics. Bruce McGee was very nice to me too and then I met Eric Miller from N. Carolina. Very nice and might be a successful goodlooking gay prof'l. Anyway, I arranged to have dinner with him Monday

2:30 J/O + to bed

SUN, AUG 24 '86

Wake up feeling hopeful but try not to get swept away. Last night was sorta fun and it's very important to me that I have met a man. But don't go overboard with hope. I miss Bill a bit this morning but then I realize we wouldn't have had sex and he'd be singing songs of the sixties. He's really pretty adolescent in many ways. Yet I like his sincerity and sensitivity when I confront him. But I don't want to have to confront him. Look through Eastside brochure for stuff yet to do...

11:00 Call Meg. Extra $50/month starting in October but no interest for a year.

12:00 Go to Jafco for new camera. Small 35 mm non-SLR. Put stuff away. Lunch

3:00 Drive to Chubby + Tubby for Stan Smith shoes.

3:30 Drive to Issaquah. See Lake Sam State Park and Waterworks + Gilmon Village. Drive Preston, Carnation, Duvall just to see it since by myself.

FIND THE END OF BOTHELL WAY AND IT TURNS INTO ROAD TO MONROE DRIVE HOME VIA 405 + 520 MESSAGES FROM BILL, ERIC, MICHAEL

6:00 [highlight]GOTO MICHAELS TO SKI GO DOWN TO SEWARD PARK[/highlight] [A?]ND RIGHT BY MOM + DADS SINCE IT WAS NOT SO WINDY THERE. [highlight]VERY NICE SUNSET BELLEVUE WAS GOLDEN.[/highlight]

8:30 BACK TO MICHAELS. HAVE TO REMOVE [highlight]SPLINTER.[/highlight] HAVE [highlight]BRANDY[/highlight] SMOKE A [highlight]LITTLE DOPE.[/highlight] TALK ABOUT BILL, BOB, ETC SCOTT HAVING PARTY TUESDAY

9:30 GO HOME. [highlight]TRY CALLING BILL + ERIC.[/highlight] BUT NEITHER IS IN. SHOWER TO GET RID OF DUCK STUFF MISC TRY TO THINK WHAT TO DO...

A BUMPY NIGHT BEGINS

10:45 I LEAVE SINCE NO CALL FROM BILL (BUT WHEN I RETURN HE SAYS HE'S CALLING AT 10:45) [highlight]GOTO NEIGHBORS CATCHING ERIC NECKING WITH NAVY GUY (1982) WHO WEARS TUXES OUT A LOT [/highlight] BUT THEN [highlight]HE COMES OVER[/highlight] + TALKS ABOUT PUTTING DINNER TOGETHER TOMORROW, AND [highlight]I'M REALLY NERVOUS[/highlight]. HE SAYS [highlight]HE'S LEAVING[/highlight] SO I GO OUT AND I THINK I SEE HIM IN CAMARO WITH NAVY GUY, BUT IT WASN'T. SO I GOTO [highlight]BRASS CONNECTION, YUKKO.[/highlight] AND HEAD BACK TO NEIGHBORS AND ERIC IS COMING OUT BUT IN [highlight]A HONDA (RENTAL). SO WE SIT AND TALK[/highlight] AND I'M WONDERING WHERE BILL IS. SO [highlight]HE DRIVES ME TO MY CAR. AND AS I'M GETTING OUT, I IMMEDIATELY SEE BILL DRIVE BY ON MOTORCYCLE AS IF LEAVING THE BARS[/highlight]

WELL I IMMEDIATELY ASSUMED THE WORST, [highlight]BUT I TRIED TO FIND BILL[/highlight] BUT COULDN'T. [highlight]AND I WAS SO NERVOUS[/highlight] [comment] BUT I DIDN'T WANT BILL! HAVE MORE CONTROL. SHOULD'VE NOT SLEPT ON 8/17. That was a Sunday evening TOO, just like this one! I lose control [t?]ouch with what I usually want.[/comment]