Diary

Didn't talk much on way back and music was just so so.

Had to stop at Rax so Bill wouldn't feel obliged...

8:00 Out to drinks with Failla

9:00 Try to go to Tugs but closed.

10:00 To bed

Mon, July 28 '86

Memorize something from Midler's View from Abroad for practice.

Go to work. Check stuff in selection/display one last time.

Write some more keyboard code.

5:30 Go home.

Dinner. Vic calls, says Dan would like me to come visit, so I feel pretty good until Bob calls and tells me how wonderful Chevy was.

7:00 I go out for a walk but realize how disgusting my neighborhood is, so I must drive, but I get nowhere.

Go home to bed.

But I just lay awake scared in bed. Nothing good is coming to me that excites me and takes me higher. I am so dead inside.

Decide communications module will not benefit me either so don't do it.

I went to sleep distraught and depressed. All this natural beauty here, but no friends.

Tue, July 29 '86

Sunny, unusual day

Woke up still feeling depressed, another cloudy day but what can I do about it? Later it got sunny so I though "why not go visit Dan today" so I called but no answer.

9:00 Pace. What to do...

10:00 Go to Body Nautilus, but I can't stand being there over 10 min

10:30 Go to Sound Mind & Body

Too much rock & roll

Too loud

Too many housewives

One big room

Just a water cooler.

No back machine.

No incline or decline bench.

One body builder (Ren - good legs)

Lunch

1:00 Lay out in backyard with Mike H. Good time, pleasant.

4:00 Go to work.

Code misc keyboard sequences, and track scroll bars.

Dinner at Wendy's

11:15 Go home.

Good to have unusual day.

9:30 Go get computer from Bob just before his massage.

Misc

Starting to feel much more at ease now that big parts of Works are done.

10:00 Call Dan Donahue at motel. Maybe it would be fun to go with Vic over there so I can get to know Dan with less pressure...see who he is.

More misc

10:45 To Ritz. Chat with Patrick H. and Shawn Farnsworth

11:15 To home to bed

Thurs July 31 '86

8:30 Go to work early.

Misc resync, recompile, couple bug fixes, etc.

But Jerry has ssload and sssave checked out

10:00 Go to gym

12:00 Go home to lunch

1:00 Set up to go to beach.

1:30 Feeling pretty good.

Listen to a good tape

Read Perils of Gay Rights

Listen to tape again

3:30 Leave with Aaron (quickly)

But exit was flawed by not talking with Rick U first.

Crummy time at V. Park afterwards, so I went back to Madison Beach and Oscar Nunyez had left so I had a pleasant talk with Rick U rich. Felt better.

5:15 Grocery shop

Home to make dinner.

Decide I don't want to do beaches here myself anymore.

Talk with Vic while cooking

6:45 Go to work.

Type in sssave code

Get it to compile. Do progress report.

11:30 Leave. Neighbors. Steve Markham. Home.

Very important

Fri Aug 1 '86

Feeling pretty crummy about my summer. Primarily because I'm not invited to go waterskiing with Mike Hallen & Dave Gentry.

Mike was leave as I ate breakfast and I noticed a short person with him who I thought was Steve Segal.

What bugged me was that I wasn't quick enough to make an excuse like getting my mail or the WSJ to go find out, since I'd only glimpsed him! Then Mom called and bored me. What awful timing!

8:45 I remembered Mike said they were going to the gym first, so I went too and recognized the clothes and it wasn't Steve Segal.

I was simply curious and I don't like missing a thing.

9:00 Haircut at Chaira's

Forgot wallet, so home & back

10:00 To work. Hard to get into it as I felt I have so few friends, and I don't associate with people I work with, and yet I put so much time into my work.

I looked at Windows terminal and decided it's no really a great place to put my time & energy.

I never use communications personally anymore and its features are boring.

I also realized that boating is expensive and therefore it's tough to get into it, and take advantage of it, except by ferry tanning and tacky tourist cruises.

Debug sssave code.

Felt much better, and at end of day I realized I had accomplished something. If I'd gone boating I would've had a fun memorable time, but warm weather lasts only one more month!

Then it's 8 months to May, and this year May was very wet & cloudy.

(over)

So what would I do then for 8 or 9 months. Last winter I stayed in Seattle a lot, but I had things to do, to break up the time

Buy stock. Buying new car.

Getting net worth settled

Skiing with Bob.

Boat shopping with Michael.

Moving Microsoft

AIDS antibody tests

Going public

Piano lessons too!

Plus I was taking Amitryptiline which may have helped a lot.

But this coming winter what could I plan to do? There is always work to do, but what else.

Gym will be unmotivated & passe, waking up at Bill Farrell's

Driving in his truck

Meeting his friends

Halloween like last year...

How to deal with expectation of a long winter if I'm not distracted by work/hobbies.

Don't care to travel by myself.

Can't expect to meet any gdlkg professional architects, lawyers etc and even if I did I'm not the type of person who flourishes here.

No musical instruments.

Hard to fool myself into feeling that good weather is just around the corner like last year and winters before.

Being nice & loving to parents.

Most important element may be that I'm not the type of person who flourishes here. Ford Martin just became manager of cashmere, but where am I?